When you look at your relationship what do you see?

Everyone knows that relationships are hard work. No one has it easy, easier days than others yes, but easy altogether no. We start off finding someone we are drawn to can't get enough of want to spend the rest of our life with......then what? Well we build a life together and lose some sense of ourselves in the process. It’s natural for this to happen when you merge two lives together. Some couples wait to start a family and focus on each other, traveling, working....while others go right into another chapter of growing their family by adding children.

My relationship with my husband started with a look across a crowded room romance. Jeremy worked for the same company as I did. I worked in the Orlando area while he worked in the Gainesville area. We met through a meeting for our specific position back in late 1997. We definitely noticed each other. I met him at the meeting and towards the end everyone had exchanged numbers for future events coming etc. Jeremy & I used those numbers to call about any little thing even if just to say hello and ask about our day. Luckily for me my best friend was attending UF and lived there so I could stay with her and work the Gainesville branch as needed and see Jeremy all in one stop. Our friendship quickly grew the foundation to what was inevitably going to happen. A couple years of a growing friendship and eventually a breathtaking kiss or two some major changes took place.

Jeremy was offered a promotion and relocation to Altamonte Springs (closer to me). He took it without telling me right away. The way I found out was at a going away party for one of the company's top performers. I spotted him there and he shared the news. That changed everything for us! He wanted to be in my life and I wanted to be in his full time. It was that night we became inseparable. It wasn't long before we bought a house, married, and had our first child. Things happen as they should. We create our destiny. I knew Jeremy was my destiny and he knew I was his. Everyone who knew us or just met us would agree seeing us together or hearing us talk about one another, but never would have placed us a couple knowing us separately. Within the company our co-workers, bosses, friends, and clients were drawn to us. We were told daily about how our love had touched them in some way. How visible it was to those around us and how they wished they could find something even remotely like what we had. We finished each others sentences, told the same stories in different rooms, watched each other through the crowd, showed affection, talked on the phone constantly if we weren't together, always knew how to have a good time no matter where we were! Two social butterflies who had no problem entertaining wherever we went.

Those days do still show up every now and then when we can get away without the kids and spend time with our friends. We blossom in social settings and still draw a crowd which is a nice reminder that we still have it. Together we have two daughters who have been the two miracles in our lives. I cannot imagine my life without them! They are my daily fuel.

Fast forward almost 10 years now when I really want to smack my husband sometimes during ridiculous arguments! I know you all have been there too don't pretend!

With relationships we start out in the honeymoon phase. Can’t keep your hands off each other, get butterflies in the stomach when you think about them, hear their voice or see them again, want to spend every minute together, want to sleep wrapped up in each other. Then the day comes that it cuddling makes me hot, not separating work from home just for the weekend irritates me and saddens our children, the butterflies died, and he seems to time the calls he makes to me when I am trying to get the children safely through a parking lot in 110* weather to or from any destination, loaded down with groceries, or on a field trip.

The fun phase can last a very long time for some or other cases not so long at all, but you stay in the relationship. Eventually the honeymoon phase disappears. Why? Why can we not keep that phase or revisit it often? Well because once you move in together, get married, have kids, buy a house (maybe not in that order, but you get my point) relationships get sticky! Responsibilities begin to form and finances begin to grow and decisions have to be made. You can’t only think about yourself now you have to think about the other person and their feelings, thoughts, dreams. Relationships can be very messy at times, but they can also teach you so much about yourself if you just open your eyes to see and listen carefully.

When do you decide this is it? Is this where I want to be and who I want to be with? When do you change your mind? How do you regain the intense connection you once had in the beginning? When you look at your relationship what do you see?

Marriage is a full time job. Raising children is a full time job. Life is full of obstacles that either make us or break us. Personally I have made it through some very heavy obstacles. I’m here today standing with a smile on my face and a warmth in my heart knowing that I have done great things and will continue to do them as my life continues. You make compromises for each other some are more difficult, but you make them. I love my husband and he loves me. We have an amazing family together and make whatever sacrifices need to be made in order to remain a unified family working towards the same goal.